Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Marriage Gone Bad
A man was speeding in his brand new Porsche. He was driving over 110 MPH. He see's a cop car catching up to him with the lights and siren going. He decides to try and out run him. He steps on the gas and speeds away only to run into some road construction where he is forced to stop. The officer gets out if his car and approaches the man in the Porsche.
"Sir, I'm at the end of my shift. If you can give me a reason for trying to outrun me that I haven't already heard, I'll let you go."
The man thinks for a moment.
"My wife left me for a cop. I thought you were trying to bring her back."
The officer went back to his car and drove off.
"Sir, I'm at the end of my shift. If you can give me a reason for trying to outrun me that I haven't already heard, I'll let you go."
The man thinks for a moment.
"My wife left me for a cop. I thought you were trying to bring her back."
The officer went back to his car and drove off.
Friday, February 03, 2012
A Free Super Bowl Ticket
A man receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company.
Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter he notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man replies "No."
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, he again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?" The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1942."
"Well, that's terribly sad. But still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?"
"No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral."
Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter he notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man replies "No."
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, he again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?" The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1942."
"Well, that's terribly sad. But still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?"
"No," the man replied, "they're all at the funeral."
Thursday, February 02, 2012
NAME THE STATES
An old preacher made it a practice to visit the congregation's Christian school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They could only come up with about 40 names.
He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
One lad snickered, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."
He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
One lad snickered, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)