HUMOR

For quotes about humor go to my other blog at
http://reallifequotes.blogspot.com/2010/12/humor.html



http://reallifequotes.blogspot.com/2010/12/humor.html

Idle Thoughts of A Retiree's Wandering Mind

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it
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 I had amnesia once---or twice
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 I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
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 Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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 All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
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What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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 They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
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 Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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 Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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 One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
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 My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.
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 I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
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 How can there be self-help "groups"?
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 If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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 Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off
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 Is it me...or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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A college education doesn't make you any smarter, it just gives you a bigger vocabulary to express your inadequacies.
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