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Tuesday, December 05, 2017

Jonah in the Bible

   When a boy went off to college, his father said, "Don't ever let the take away your faith."
   Back home after two years of college the son was asked, "Do you still believe the Bible?  I hope you didn't let them weaken your faith in the Bible.  You still believe Jonah was swallowed by a fish?"
   "Oh, now, Father," said John, "you don't mean to say that you still believe that story about Jonah?"
   The father threw up his hands, horror-stricken.  "Oh, son, you've forsaken you father's faith!"
   "Father, is Jonah still in your Bible?  Have you read about him lately?  Father, get your Bible and show me where you find anything about Jonah."
   With considerable indignation the father took down his Bible and began to turn over the leaves excitedly, but could not find Jonah.
   "Now, Father, I may have played a mean trick, but two years ago when I went to college, I took your Bible and carefully cut out the pages of Jonah, and you have never missed it."
   The father's face revealed an inward struggle.  Then he quietly said, "I see it.  I'm as bad as the unbelievers.  There has been no Jonah in my Bible for two years."

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Stolen Car

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says, "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Name On Your Bible

A devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.

Three weeks later a cow walked up carrying the Bible in its mouth!

The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.  He took the book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward, and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the cow. "Your name was written inside the cover."

Friday, November 27, 2015

Hymn #365

This is too funny - but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down...

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'