Mother's Wisdom

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.

It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

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Mother's Wisdom:

4 YEARS OF AGE My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE Wish I could talk it over with Mom.....
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"MOTHER'S MAINTENANCE MANUAL"
        Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we only expect
our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last for a lifetime. Maybe we need
a maintenance manual for mothers so we would know how to take care of them at least as
well as we do our automobiles.
        Here are some items that might be included in such a manual.
        Engine: A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can find. She can
reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a sleeping child. But regular breaks
are needed to keep up that peak performance.
        Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a night out
every 1,000 miles, and a live in baby-sitter with a one week vacation every 10,000 miles.
        Battery: Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly. Handmade items, notes,
unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I love you's" will do very well for a recharge.
        Carburetor: When a mother's carburetor floods, it should be treated immediately with
Kleenex and a soft shoulder.
        Brakes: See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full stop
occasionally. (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest.)
        Fuel: Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, left overs and salads, but an
occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her efficiency.
        Chassis: Mothers run best when their bodies are properly maintained. Regular exercise
should be encouraged and provided for as necessary. A change in hairdo or makeup in spring
and fall are also helpful. If you notice the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program
of walking, jogging, swimming, or bike riding. These are most effective when done with fathers.
        Tune-ups: Mother needs regular tune-ups. Compliments are both the cheapest and
most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly.
        If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and gift from God
that we call MOTHER should last a lifetime and give good service and constant love to those
who need her most.
-- Author Unknown