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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Church Terms

Church Terms That Oughta Be...

Biblidue: The build-up of bookmarks, bulletins, notes, and other miscellanea that collects in one's Bible.

Hymnastics: The entertaining body language of the song leader.

Pewtrify: To occupy a precise spot in the sanctuary for more than 15 years without once showing signs of sentient life.

Ministereotype: A common myth or misconception about any ordained person.

Deaconscript: An unwilling church officer cajoled into a position of leadership.

Hi-litaholic: One who cannot resist highlighting Bible verses until the entire volume is a multihued mass of Day-Glo vibrancy.

Hymnprovisation: The abrupt and unannounced transition from one song to another, usually a chorus unfamiliar to most present.

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