Long Sermon

The preacher stood up for his sermon and the congregation couldn't help but notice several bandages on his face.

"Excuse me," says the preacher, "but this morning I was so deep in thought about my sermon that I cut myself shaving."

When the service had ended and the preacher was saying goodbye to everyone as they filed out the door, one old curmudgeon shakes the preacher's hand and says, "Next time think about shaving and cut the sermon."

Sermon Take Off

A preacher had just finished his sermon, and sat down with his wife.  She asked him how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well. But," he continued, "I just don't think my sermon ever got off the ground."

His wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"