Had me looking into myself

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength' Mark 12: 29-30     Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping? Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie? Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying but.. you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend? Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel? Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games but they do everything possible to sit in the last row at Church?    Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for Church 2-3 weeks in advance so we can include it in our agenda, but we can make adjustments for other events at a moment's notice?    Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a fact about God and share it with others; but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?   Isn't it strange how we believe everything that magazines and newspapers say but.... we question the words in the Bible?   Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven but... they don't want to believe, do, or say anything to get there?   Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away but when we have messages to send about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?   IT'S  STRANGE ISN'T IT?

Money

There was a man who had worked hard all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to money. When he became ill and knew he was dying he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife." His wife gave her promise that when he died, she would put all his money into the casket with him.


A week later he died. On the day of her husband’s funeral his wife was sitting next to her best friend and just before the undertaker closed the casket she called out “Please, Wait a minute!” walked over to the casket and placed a small brass finished box inside.


The undertaker then locked the casket down and rolled it away. The next day her friend came around to visit and said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all of his money in the casket." “I promised.” The widow replied “I'm a good Christian and I couldn't lie I promised him I would put all of his money into the casket with him, so I did.”

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in that casket with him?" "Yes” said his wife . "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check, I thought if he can cash it he can spend it”

Giving Up Chocolate

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. 

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of dinner?' 

'No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago', the homeless woman told me. 

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked. 

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.' 

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked. 

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!' 

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.' 

The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.' 

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate.' 

You're gonna share it on aren't you?

Money - Giving

A priest, minister and rabbi were playing their usual Wednesday round of golf, and started discussing their weekly collections.

Specifically, they started to compare how they decided what portion of the collection to keep for themselves and what portion to give to God.

The minister explains: "I draw a circle aroung myself and toss the money in the air. Whatever lands in the circle I keep for myself. What ever lands outside the circle, I give to God."

The priest then adds: "I use a similar method, except that whatever lands in the circle I give to God, and whatever lands outside the circle I keep for my personal needs."

The rabbi then proclaims: "I use the same method, as well. Except, that when I toss the money in the air, and I figure that whatever God wants he can take."

Gordon MacDonald shares how your generosity effects your spirit.

Whatever God Wants He Can Take

Money

My Uncle Wayne told me this one.

A priest, minister and rabbi were playing their usual Wednesday round of golf, and started discussing their weekly collections.

Specifically, they started to compare how they decided what portion of the collection to keep for themselves and what portion to give to God.

The minister explains: "I draw a circle around myself and toss the money in the air. Whatever lands in the circle I keep for myself. What ever lands outside the circle, I give to God."

The priest then adds: "I use a similar method, except that whatever lands in the circle I give to God, and whatever lands outside the circle I keep for my personal needs."

The rabbi then proclaims: "I use the same method, as well. Except, that when I toss the money in the air, and I figure that whatever God wants He can take."

College Student and Money

A kid called up his Mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, o.k." responded the kid.

So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"

"Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000 out to him."

"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you crazy???"

"Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!"

Good For A Dime

A man and his ten-year-old son were on a fishing trip miles from home. At the boy's insistence, they decided to attend the Sunday worship service at a small rural church.

As they walked back to their car after the service, the father complained. "The service was too long," he lamented. "The sermon was boring, and the singing was off key."


Finally the boy said, "Daddy, I thought it was pretty good for a dime."